Now she and the widow had something in common, though loss did not pass from one person to another like a baton. It just formed a bigger and bigger pool of carriers. And she thought, scratching the coarseness of the horses's mane, it did not leave, once lodged, did it? It simply changed form, and asked repeatedly for attention and care as each year revealed a new knot to cry out and consider, smaller, sure, but never gone...Out of my body, these beautiful monsters.

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The main character reflects on her connection with a widow, recognizing that their shared experiences of loss are not transferable but rather cumulative. Each individual carries their grief, which creates a vast network of shared sorrow. This realization leads her to ponder how loss transforms over time, evolving yet remaining ever-present. As she pets the horse, she thinks about how grief needs constant attention and care as new layers of pain reveal themselves throughout the years.

Loss, therefore, doesn’t disappear but morphs into something else, a reminder of the emotions tied to the past. The metaphor of "beautiful monsters" suggests that while the pain can be overwhelming, it can also be profound and complex, intertwining with identity and memory. The imagery evokes a sense of both acceptance and sorrow, emphasizing that while grief is challenging, it is also part of the tapestry of life.

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January 29, 2025

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