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humor
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humor
Quotes of Category: humor
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Juliet Marillier
_
The Dark Mirror
His thoughts inhabit a different plane from those of ordinary men; the simplest interpretation of that is to call him crazy.
book-quote
humor
differences
individuality
Terry Pratchett
_
Guards! Guards!
You see, the only thing the good people are good at is overthrowing the bad people. And you're good at that, I'll grant you. But the trouble is it's the only thing you're good at. One day it's the ringing of the bells and the casting down of the evil tyrant, and the next it's everyone sitting around complaining that ever since the tyrant was overthrown no one's been taking out the trash. Because the bad people know how to plan. It's part of the specification, you might say. Every evil tyrant has a plan to rule the world. The good people don't seem to have the knack.
book-quote
inspirational
humor
vetinari
Terry Pratchett
_
Monstrous Regiment
If they look as though they're worried, we'll move in.''And do what exactly?' said Polly.'Threaten to shoot them,' said Maladict firmly.'And if they don't believe us?''Then we'll threaten to shoot them ,' said Maladict. 'Happy? And I hope to hell they've got some coffee!
book-quote
humor
Terry Pratchett
_
Guards! Guards!
Might have just been an innocent bystander, sir,' said Carrot'What, in Ankh-Morpork?''Yes, sir.''We should have grabbed him, then, just for the rarity value
book-quote
humor
sarcasm
innocent-bystander
Terry Pratchett
_
Dodger
The man gave Dodger a cursory glance that had quite a lot of curse in it.
book-quote
humor
dodger
glance
Terry Pratchett
_
Soul Music
Decided to put aside ethnic differences in the cause of making more money.
book-quote
humor
Terry Pratchett
_
Wintersmith
Typical artist,' said Granny. 'He just painted the showy stuff in the front... And what about these cherubs? We're not going to get them too, are we? I don't like to see little babies flying through the air.''They turn up in a lot of old paintings,' said Nanny Ogg. 'They put them in to show it's Art and not just naughty pictures of ladies with not many clothes on.''Well, they're not fooling ME,' said Granny Weatherwax.
book-quote
humor
Terry Pratchett
_
Johnny and the Dead
Look, this is just the cemetery. It's got bylaws and things! It's not Transylvania! There's just dead people here! That doesn't make it scary, does it? Dead people are people who were living once! You wouldn't be so worked up if there were living people buried here, would you?
book-quote
humor
Terry Pratchett
_
Small Gods
The Great God Om waxed wroth, or at least made a spirited attempt. There is a limit to the amount of wroth that can be waxed one inch from the ground, and he was right up against it.
book-quote
humor
Terry Pratchett
_
Wyrd Sisters
Destiny was funny stuff, he knew. You couldn't trust it. Often you couldn't even see it. Just when you knew you had it cornered, it turned out to be something else-coincidence, maybe, or providence. You barred the door against it, and it was standing behind you. Then just when you thought you had it nailed down it walked away with the hammer.
book-quote
life
humor
Terry Pratchett
_
Theatre of Cruelty
Captain Vimes believed in logic, in much the same way as a man in a desert believed in ice -- i.e., it was something he really needed, but this just wasn't the world for it.
book-quote
humor
logic
Terry Pratchett
_
The Long Cosmos
The truly smart, having discovered they are cleverer than the people around them, soon learn that the smartest thing of all for them to do is to prevent said people from ever finding this out.
book-quote
humor
pratchett
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