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Author: Jill Conner Browne
Quotes of Author: Jill Conner Browne
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  1. Jill Conner Browne _ The Sweet Potato Queens'

    We read in the paper about a fifty-five-year-old woman-you read right, that's fifty five- who had quadruplets! Since the pregnancy was in vitro, it was clearly on purpose. I've got to tell you, we were all pretty happy that we hadn't done this and also none of us had ever considered it. Nor had we considered pulling out all our teeth with pliers or slamming our fingers in the car door repeatedly just to see what it feels like.
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  2. Jill Conner Browne _ American Thighs: The Sweet

    Likewise, she will know that if I start watching reality TV, quoting Dr. Phil, riding roller coasters, and seem to have forsaken bacon in favor of anything soy-it's time to Get the Pillow. That's what-well, I can't tell you who but she's a nurse-says they all say when they've got a particularly cantankerous patient on their wing.
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  3. Jill Conner Browne _ Fat Is the New 30: The Sweet

    In trying times, such as the ones we currently find ourselves mired in the middle of, one wants a distraction from one's troubles, and I find it most helpful to plan and engage in a pleasant outing or two with close and like-minded friends. Or you could go gator huntin'.
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  4. Jill Conner Browne _ Fat Is the New 30: The Sweet

    I am surprised that Chicago-the Big-Shouldered City-is so trifling that they won't let you eat in a restaurant if it's on fire. Even if you already paid.
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  5. Jill Conner Browne _ The Sweet Potato Queens'

    Familiarity, not survival, is the strongest drive in human beings.
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  6. Jill Conner Browne _ Fat Is the New 30: The Sweet

    in certain regions of Italy, women of ill-repute or evil looks are forbidden to enter cheese factories.
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  7. Jill Conner Browne _ Fat Is the New 30: The Sweet

    sure, I've heard the weight-loss gurus spouting their "nothing tastes as good as being thin feels" mantra, and as I've said before-BULLSHIT. The times in my life when I have been thin, I enjoyed it well enough, but trust me, PLENTY of stuff tastes WAY better than being thin feels. For that matter, come to think of it, FEELING FULL FEELS better than being thin does.
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  8. Jill Conner Browne _ American Thighs: The Sweet

    So, whoever you are out there who's convinced all these guys to commit this hair-trocity-why not push it a little further and get 'em to go all-out-Ed-Grimley and start wearing their pants up under their armpits and all? Come to think of it-that WOULD eliminate the proliferation of butt cracks we've been forced to view the last few years, revealed by the enduring but baffling "fad" of wearing your pants in such a way as to offer ease to anyone interested in making you their jailhouse bitch.
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  9. Jill Conner Browne _ The Sweet Potato Queens'

    FINANCIAL TIPFor guys-- buying the stupid flowers when you're supposed to will be way cheaper than what you'll have to buy and do to make up for it if you forget.
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  10. Jill Conner Browne _ Fat Is the New 30: The Sweet

    Daddy always pointed out, it should come as no surprises to anyone that merchants want to move their wares-it's sorta what they do, after all. But that's just BUSINESS and that has nothing to do with CHRISTMAS.
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  11. Jill Conner Browne _ Fat Is the New 30: The Sweet

    Life. It's your birthday present. Open it up and play with it. Act like you like it. {The One who gave it to you is watching, after all. Don't wanna hurt His feelings.} And if you don't like your life, CHANGE IT. It is all yours.
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  12. Jill Conner Browne _ American Thighs: The Sweet

    Michael's Magical Sweet Potato Muffins WHISK TOGETHER 1 cup dark brown sugar, 1/2 cup oil, 1 running-over teaspoon vanilla, and 2 eggs. Then, in another bowl, mix together 2 cups all-purpose flour, 2 teaspoons baking powder, 1 teaspoon cinnamon, 1 teaspoon nutmeg, 1/2 teaspoon allspice, and 1/2 teaspoon salt. To that, add 2 big giant sweet potatoes-either baked or boiled-and mashed. I suppose you COULD use canned ones, but it kinda makes me gag to think about. Add your egg/sugar mixture to all of that and stir it up without beating it to death. Put it in greased muffin tins and bake for about 25 to 30 minutes at 350°F. {If you want to, you could add 1/2 cup raisins or 1 cup pecans. I'd go with the pecans-not a big fan of raisins in stuff, but that's just me.} Okay-I have got
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