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Author: Jon Stewart
Quotes of Author: Jon Stewart
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  1. Jon Stewart _ America (The Book): A

    It's great having Bruce Springsteen on my show. We have so much in common! We're both from New Jersey, just from different neighborhoods. Sort of like how Martin Luther King and Margaret Mitchell both came from Atlanta. But from different neighborhoods.
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  2. Jon Stewart _ The Daily Show: An Oral

    And this, this, is their genius. Conservatives are not looking to make education more rigorous and informative, or science more empirical or verifiable, or voting more representative, or the government more efficient or effective. They just want all those things to reinforce their partisan, ideological, conservative viewpoint.
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  3. Jon Stewart _ America (The Book): A

    It is perhaps a sign of the strength of our republic that so few people feel the need to participate. That must be the reason.
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  4. Jon Stewart _ America (The Book): A

    Classroom Activities1. Using felt and yarn, make a hand puppet of . Ta-da! You're !
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  5. Jon Stewart _ Earth (The Book): A Visitor's

    Often, no sooner would the mind begin to scale the heights of Mt. Knowledge than it would receive a frantic call from body base camp, demanding it return to oversee "Operation Masturbate.
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  6. Jon Stewart _ America (The Book): A

    Campaigns and elections are the process in which democracy separates the willing from the able, and goes with the willing.
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  7. Jon Stewart _ The Daily Show: An Oral

    If your world does not include enough access to different people, and their world does not include enough access to you, you are speaking from ignorance.
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  8. Jon Stewart _ America (The Book): A

    As heirs to a legacy more than two centuries old, it is understandable why present-day Americans would take their own democracy for granted. A president freely chosen from a wide-open field of two men every four years; a Congress with a 99% incumbency rate; a Supreme Court comprised of nine politically appointed judges whose only oversight is the icy scythe of Death -- all these reveal a system fully capable of maintaining itself. But our perfect democracy, which neither needs nor particularly wants voters, is a rarity. It is important to remember there still exist other forms of government in the world today, and that dozens of foreign countries still long for a democracy such as ours to be imposed on them."
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  9. Jon Stewart _ The Daily Show with Jon

    You know what they say: If at first you don't succeed, f**k it.
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  10. Jon Stewart _ America (The Book): A

    Each party has a platform--a pre-fixed menu of beliefs making up its worldview. The candidate can choose one of the two platforms, but remember: no substitutions.For example, do you support healthcare? Then you must also want a ban on assault weapons. Pro limited government? Congratulations, you are also anti-abortion.Luckily, all human opinion falls neatly into one of the two clearly defined camps. Thus, the two-party system elegantly represents the bi-chromatic rainbow that is American political thought.
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  11. Jon Stewart _ The Daily Show with Jon

    The problem with the Tea Party is they're all ignorant hillbillies who drink moonshine and ride around on mules. And they believe in stereotypes too.
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  12. Jon Stewart _ America (The Book): A

    While anarchy can often turn a humdrum weekend into something unforgettable, eventually the mob must be kept from . And while it would be nice if that "something" was simple human decency, anybody who has witnessed the "50% Off Wedding Dress Sale" at Filene's Basement knows we need a backup plan-preferably in writing. On the other hand, too many laws can result in outright tyranny, particularly if one of those laws is "." Somewhere between these two extremes lies the legislative sweet-spot that produces just the right amount of laws for a well-adjusted society-more than zero, less than fascism.
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