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Author: P. G. Wodehouse
Quotes of Author: P. G. Wodehouse
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  1. P. G. Wodehouse _ The Inimitable Jeeves:

    If there were more men like you, Mr. Wooster, London would be a better place."This was dead opposite to my Aunt Agatha's philosophy of life, she always having rather given me to understand that it is the presence in it of chappies like me that makes London more or less of a plague spot; but I let it go.
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  2. P. G. Wodehouse _ The Inimitable Jeeves:

    My God, man!" I gargled. "The cravat! The gent's neckwear! Why? For what reason?
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  3. P. G. Wodehouse _ My Man Jeeves

    I'm not absolutely certain of my facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare - or, if not, it's some equally brainy lad - who says that it's always just when a chappie is feeling particularly top-hole, and more than usually braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with a bit of lead piping.
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  4. P. G. Wodehouse _ My Man Jeeves and Right Ho,

    'It seems to me, Jeeves, that the ceremony may be one fraught with considerable interest.' 'Yes, sir.' 'What, in your opinion, will the harvest be?' 'One finds it difficult to hazard a conjecture, sir.' 'You mean imagination boggles?' 'Yes, sir.' I inspected my imagination. He was right. It boggled
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  5. P. G. Wodehouse

    Oh, is that my report, father?' said Mike, with a sort of sickly interest, much as a dog about to be washed might evince in his tub.
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  6. P. G. Wodehouse

    But what is the love life of newts, if you boil it right down? Didn't you tell me once that they just waggled their tails at one another in the mating season?

  7. P. G. Wodehouse

    I laughed derisively."For goodness' sake, don't start gargling now. This is serious.""I was laughing.

  8. P. G. Wodehouse _ The Man with Two Left Feet:

    Musical comedy is the Irish stew of drama. Anything may be put into it, with the certainty that it will improve the general effect.
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  9. P. G. Wodehouse

    Talking of being eaten by dogs, there's a dachshund at Brinkley who when you first meet him will give you the impression that he plans to convert you into a light snack between his regular meals. Pay no attention. It's all eyewash. His belligerent attitude is simply-"Sound and fury signifying nothing, sir?"That's it. Pure swank. A few civil words, and he will be grappling you . . . What's the expression I've heard you use?"Grappling me to his soul with hoops of steel, sir?"In the first two minutes. He wouldn't hurt a fly, but he has to put up a front because his name's Poppet. One can readily appreciate that when a dog hears himself addressed day in and day out as Poppet, he feels he must throw his weight about. Is self-respect demands it."Precisely, sir."You'll like Poppet. Nice dog. Wears his ears inside out. Why do dachshunds wear their ears inside out?

  10. P. G. Wodehouse _ The Code of the Woosters

    Well, you certainly are the most wonderfully woolly baa-lamb that ever stepped.
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  11. P. G. Wodehouse _ Jeeves in the Morning

    When a girl uses six derogatory adjectives in her attempt to paint the portrait of the loved one, it means something. One may indicate a merely temporary tiff. Six is big stuff.
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  12. P. G. Wodehouse

    Oh, Jeeves,' I said; 'about that check suit.'Yes, sir?'Is it really a frost?'A trifle too bizarre, sir, in my opinion.'But lots of fellows have asked me who my tailor is.'Doubtless in order to avoid him, sir.
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