Book: Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone
Quotes of Book: Braving the Wilderness: The
It was December 15, 2012, the day after twenty-year-old Adam Lanza fatally shot twenty children between six and seven years old, as well as six adult staff members, at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut. I remember thinking, Maybe if all the mothers in the world crawled on their hands and knees toward those parents in Newtown, we could take some of the pain away. We could spread their pain across all of our hearts. I would do it. Can't we find a way to hold some of it for them? I'll take my share. Even if it adds sadness to all my days. My friends and I didn't rush to start a fund that day. We didn't storm the principal's office at our kids' school asking for increased security measures. We didn't call politicians or post on Facebook. We would do all that in the days to come. But the day right after the shooting, we just sat together with nothing but the sound of occasional weeping cutting through the silence. Leaning in to our shared pain and fear comforted us. Being alone in the midst of a widely reported trauma, watching endless hours of twenty-four-hour news or reading countless articles on the Internet, is the quickest way for anxiety and fear to tiptoe into your heart and plant their roots of secondary trauma. That day after the mass killing, I chose to cry with my friends, then I headed to church to cry with strangers. I couldn't have known then that in 2017 I would speak at a fund-raiser for the Resiliency Center of Newtown and spend time sitting with a group of parents whose children were killed at Sandy Hook. What I've learned through my work and what I heard that night in Newtown makes one thing clear: Not enough of us know how to sit in pain with others. Worse, our discomfort shows up in ways that can hurt people and reinforce their own isolation. I have started to believe that crying with strangers in person could save the world. Today there's a sign that welcomes you to Newtown: WE ARE SANDY HOOK. WE CHOOSE LOVE. That day when I sat in a room with other mothers from my neighborhood and cried, I wasn't sure what we were doing or why. Today I'm pretty sure we were choosing love in our own small way. book-quoteBishop's book tells the story of how we've geographically, politically, and even spiritually sorted ourselves into like-minded groups in which we silence dissent, grow more extreme in our thinking, and consume only facts that support our beliefs-making it even easier to ignore evidence that our positions are wrong. He writes, "As a result, we now live in a giant feedback loop, hearing our own thoughts about what's right and wrong bounced back to us by the television shows we watch, the newspapers and books we read, the blogs we visit online, the sermons we hear, and the neighborhoods we live in." This sorting leads us to make assumptions about the people around us, which in turn fuels disconnection. Most recently, a friend {who clearly doesn't know me very well} told me that I should read Joe Bageant's book Deer Hunting with Jesus. When I asked him why, he answered, with contempt in his voice, "So you can better understand the part of America that college professors have never seen and will never understand." I thought, You don't know a damn thing about me, my family, or where I come from. book-quote
