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Book: The Android's Dream
Quotes of Book: The Android's Dream
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  1. John Scalzi _ The Android's Dream

    Now if you'll excuse me, gentlemen, I need to play Russian roulette with our planet's future with the bullet you've so thoughtfully provided. I hope you don't mind if I don't see you out.
    book-quote

  2. John Scalzi _ The Android's Dream

    If there's one thing that distinguishes the human species, it is a pathological need to stay connected. The fact your people will interrupt sex to answer your communicators is a scandal across the entire Common Confederation.
    book-quote

  3. John Scalzi _ The Android's Dream

    You're all so busy tending to your own personal tree that you don't look around to see that the forest is on fire.
    book-quote

  4. John Scalzi _ The Android's Dream

    Even then, retailers learned early that shoppers prefer their shopping suggestions not be too truthful. One of the great unwritten chapters of retail intelligence programming featured a "personal shopper" program that all-too-accurately modeled the shoppers' desires and outputted purchase ideas based on what shoppers really wanted as opposed to what they wanted known that they wanted. This resulted in one overcompensatingly masculine test user receiving suggestions for an anal plug and a tribute art book for classic homoerotic artist Tom of Finland, while a female test user in the throes of a nasty divorce received suggestions for a small handgun, a portable bandsaw, and several gallons of an industrial solvent used to reduce organic matter to an easily drainable slurry.
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  5. John Scalzi _ The Android's Dream

    I have to tell him that the sheep we're looking for is a woman who runs a pet store," Creek said. "I think telling him his younger brother's been resurrected as a computer program might be a little much for one day." Archie
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  6. John Scalzi _ The Android's Dream

    Oh for God's sake how divine can I be? My feet hurt, I have gas and I need to pee.
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  7. John Scalzi _ The Android's Dream

    One of the great unwritten chapters of retail intelligence programming featured a "personal shopper" program that all-too-accurately modeled the shoppers' desires and outputted purchase ideas based on what shoppers really wanted as opposed to what they wanted known that they wanted. This resulted in one overcompensatingly masculine test user receiving suggestions for an anal plug and a tribute art book for classic homoerotic artist Tom of Finland, while a female test user in the throes of a nasty divorce received suggestions for a small handgun, a portable bandsaw, and several gallons of an industrial solvent used to reduce organic matter to an easily drainable slurry. After history's first recorded instance of a focus group riot, the personal shopper program was extensively rewritten.
    book-quote

  8. John Scalzi _ The Android's Dream

    You have to eliminate the low-hanging targets first, on the off chance you were dealing with morons.
    book-quote

  9. John Scalzi _ The Android's Dream

    Dirk Moeller didn't know if he could fart his way into a major diplomatic incident. But he was ready to find out.
    book-quote
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