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Book: The Apocalypse Codex
Quotes of Book: The Apocalypse Codex
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  1. Charles Stross _ The Apocalypse Codex

    Hi, I'm Bob Howard. I'm a computational demonologist and senior field agent working for an organization you don't know exists. My job involves a wide range of tasks, including: writing specifications for structured cabling runs in departmental offices; diving through holes in spacetime that lead to dead worlds and fighting off the things with too many tentacles and mouths that I find there; liaising with procurement officers to draft the functional requirements for our new classified document processing architecture; exorcising haunted jet fighters; ensuring departmental compliance with service backup policy; engaging in gunfights with the inbred cannibal worshippers of undead alien gods; and sitting in committee meetings.
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  2. Charles Stross _ The Apocalypse Codex

    The knife-shaped thing sticking out of his throat is drinking greedily; one glance tells Johnny that the cop's beyond help. There's always a cost for using such occult weapons, and Johnny will pay it later, of that he is sure; but for now he's simply relieved to still be alive.
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  3. Charles Stross _ The Apocalypse Codex

    Stuff that really will improve my survival prospects when the tentacles hit the pentacle.
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  4. Charles Stross _ The Apocalypse Codex

    ever since that time of unbound paranoia the one unbreakable law of the British secret services has been: Thou shalt not snoop on Number Ten. Because we are not in the business of generating policy-it's not a task for which agencies like ours are suited, and in those countries where spooks set policy, it always ends in tears. We vet politicians on the way up-that's an entirely different matter-but by the time they're moving into Number Ten they should already be above suspicion; if they aren't, we haven't been doing our job properly. And
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  5. Charles Stross _ The Apocalypse Codex

    If you're a humble believer set on doing your deity's will, then what are you doing spending the take on Lamborghinis and single malt?
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  6. Charles Stross _ The Apocalypse Codex

    There are one and a half billion Muslims on this Earth. A billion and a half Chinese communists, a billion Indian Hindu elephant-worshippers. One point two billion Catholics, misled by the Vatican. And I'm afraid they're all going to go to hell if we don't manage to save them in time. This is a tragedy; the great, besetting tragedy of our age is that at least ninety-five percent of currently living humanity is going to burn in hell. To make matters worse, this is the most populous century ever-there are more than seven billion of us! We
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  7. Charles Stross _ The Apocalypse Codex

    Our worshipers have met this British agent before. Do not attempt to convert him; bring him alive before Us. He will be of great service in the end times ahead.*** Schiller
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  8. Charles Stross _ The Apocalypse Codex

    We still have cultural attachés?" "We still have pulse-dialing electromechanical Strowger telephone exchanges in the basement"-Lockhart startles me by suddenly rattling off the correct but decades-obsolete terminology-"just in case we experience a need for such equipment. And you are now discovering just why we also have cultural attachés in the embassy in DC." "Ri-ight." I glance at the first boarding pass. "Hey,
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  9. Charles Stross _ The Apocalypse Codex

    Hopefully we don't end up as someone else's dinner." For a moment I feel a stab of remorse for the lamb: born into an infinite, hostile universe and destined from birth to be nothing more than fodder for uncaring alien intelligences vaster by far than it can comprehend. "'Scuse me, I'm having a Heather Mills moment here." Mo
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  10. Charles Stross _ The Apocalypse Codex

    Mug of Joe," grunts Johnny. "Mocha venti with an extra shot for me, no cream," I add. "Anything else?" I shake my head and she wanders off. Johnny looks suspicious. "Since when do you speak Starbucks?" I shrug. "It's not as if I can help it; they've got our office surrounded, and they don't like it if you try to order in English." We wait
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  11. Charles Stross _ The Apocalypse Codex

    {Fucking netbooks; you can't even use one to beat an alien brain parasite to death without it breaking.}
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  12. Charles Stross _ The Apocalypse Codex

    Finally, they began to investigate the prime minister, Harold Wilson. Wilson, Wright was convinced, was a KGB agent." I'm nodding along like a metronome at this point. "There was a group, a cabal if you like, of MI5 officers. About thirty of them. They actually planned a coup d'état in 1972. They
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