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Book: The Gift of Therapy: An Open Letter to a New Generation of Therapists and Their Patients
Quotes of Book: The Gift of Therapy: An Open
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  1. Irvin D. Yalom _ The Gift of Therapy: An Open

    Have patience with everything unresolved and try to love the questions themselves." I would add: "Try to love the questioners as well.
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  2. Irvin D. Yalom _ The Gift of Therapy: An Open

    talk about how you feel, not about what the patient is doing.
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  3. Irvin D. Yalom _ The Gift of Therapy: An Open

    There is one true property of romantic love: it never stays - evanescence is a part of the nature of an infatuated love state. But be careful trying to rush its demise. Don't try to joust with love any more than you would with powerful religious beliefs - those are duels you cannot win.
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  4. Irvin D. Yalom _ The Gift of Therapy: An Open

    I have always found quite useful Freud's formulation that the dream borrows building blocks from the day residue, but that for images to be important enough to become incorporated into it, they must be reinforced by older, meaningful, affect-laden concerns.
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  5. Irvin D. Yalom _ The Gift of Therapy: An Open

    Being empathic is so much a part of everyday discourse-popular singers warble platitudes about being in the other's skin, walking in the other's moccasins-that we tend to forget the complexity of the process. It is extraordinarily difficult to know really what the other feels; far too often we project our own feelings onto the other.
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  6. Irvin D. Yalom _ The Gift of Therapy: An Open

    {T}echnique has a different meaning for the novice than for the expert. One needs technique in learning to play the piano but eventually, if one is to make music, one must transcend learned technique and trust one's spontaneous moves.
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  7. Irvin D. Yalom _ The Gift of Therapy: An Open

    I often urge patients to project themselves into the future and to consider how they can live now so that five years hence they will be able to look back upon life without regret sweeping over them anew.
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  8. Irvin D. Yalom _ The Gift of Therapy: An Open

    {B}eware of empty compliments - make your support as incisive as your feedback or interpretations.
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  9. Irvin D. Yalom _ The Gift of Therapy: An Open

    The idea of using current distortions to re-create the past was part of an old, now abandoned, vision of the therapist as archaeologist, patiently scraping off the dust of decades to understand {and thus, in some mysterious manner, undo} the original trauma. It is a far better model to think of understanding the past in order to apprehend the present therapist-patient relationship.
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  10. Irvin D. Yalom _ The Gift of Therapy: An Open

    Heidegger spoke of two modes of existence: the everyday mode and the ontological mode. In the everyday mode we are consumed with and distracted by material surroundings - we are filled with wonderment about how things are in the world. In the ontological mode we are focused on being per se - that is, we are filled with wonderment that things are in the world."
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  11. Irvin D. Yalom _ The Gift of Therapy: An Open

    A great many of our patients have conflicts in the realm of intimacy, and obtain help in therapy sheerly through experiencing an intimate relationship with the therapist. Some fear intimacy because they believe there is something basically unacceptable about them, something repugnant and unforgivable, Given this, the act of revealing oneself fully to another and still being accepted may be the major vehicle of therapeutic help.
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  12. Irvin D. Yalom _ The Gift of Therapy: An Open

    keep in mind that therapy is a deep and comprehensive exploration into the course and meaning of one's life; given the centrality of death in our existence, given that life and death are interdependent, how can we possibly ignore it?
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