Book: The Magus
Quotes of Book: The Magus
Морис на моем месте сказал бы, что секс отличается от других удовольствий интенсивностью, но не качеством. Что это лишь часть, причем не главная, тех человеческих отношений, что зовутся любовью. И что главная часть – это искренность, выстраданное доверие сердца к сердцу. Или, если угодно, души к душе. Что физическая измена – лишь следствие измены духовной. Ибо люди, которые подарили друг другу любовь, не имеют права лгать. book-quoteLa urma urmei, ce era eu? Ce ma fortase conchis sa spun era foarte aproape de adevar: nu eram altceva decat suma numeroaselor mele esecuri. Jargonul freudian din timpul procesului ma facea sa zambesc, dar toata viata mea nu facusem decat sa transform viata in fictiune, refuzand sa privesc realitatea in fata. Ma comportasem intotdeauna ca si cand exista o a treia persoana care ma privea, ma asculta si imi punea nota buna sau rea pentru comportarea mea. Un zeu. Sau un autor de romane spre care ma intorceam, si eu eram personajul lui, in stare sa faca exact ce trebuie ca sa fie pe plac, vulnerabil la afronturile lui, capabil sa se adapteze la tot ce credea ca doreste romancierul-zeu. Eu singur am creat aceasta varietate de super-ego – ca o lipitoare; eu insumi am frant-o si din cauza ei am fost intotdeauna incapabil sa actionez liber. Constituise sistemul meu de aparare, dar devenise propriul meu tiran. Si acum imi dadeam seama, dar era prea tarziu. Pret de o moarte prea tarziu. book-quoteShe would give herself violently, then yawn at the wrongest moment. She would spend all one day cleaning up the flat, cooking, ironing. Then, pass the next three or four Boheminanly on the floor in front of the fire, reading Lear, women's magazines, a detective story, Hemingway. Not all at the same time, but bits of all in the same afternoon. She liked doing things, and only then finding a reason for doing them. book-quoteLove is the mystery between two people, not the identity. We were at the opposite poles of humanity. Lily was humanity bound to duty, unable to choose, suffering at the mercy of social ideals. Humanity both crucified and marching toward the cross. And I was free, I was Peter three times the renounce, determined to survive whatever the cost. I still see her face, her face staring, staring into the darkness as if she were trying to gaze herself into another world. It was as if we were locked in a torture chamber still in love, yet chained to opposite walls. Facing each other for eternity, but for eternity unable to touch. Of course, as men always will, I tried to extract some hope from her that she would wait for me, not judge me too quickly, such things. But she stopped me with a look, a look I shall never forget. Because it was almost one of hatred. And hatred in her face was like spite in the Virgin Mary's. It reversed the entire order of nature. book-quote
