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Book: The Solution To Social Anxiety: Break Free From The Shyness That Holds You Back
Quotes of Book: The Solution To Social
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  1. Aziz Gazipura _ The Solution To Social

    Instead of assuming disapproval, dislike and rejection, you can assume approval, friendliness, and engagement. This technique requires asking yourself a question before you engage in a social interaction: "How would I act if I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the people here loved me and found me delightful?
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  2. Aziz Gazipura _ The Solution To Social

    The problem with assuming disapproval is that we tend to perceive, and even actively create, what we expect to happen in our lives. If you are certain that someone is not going to like you, then when you speak with him, you will be paying closer attention to his subtle gestures and mannerisms. What did that sigh mean? Why did he look away
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  3. Aziz Gazipura _ The Solution To Social

    A friend and teacher of mine, Dr. Matthew May, once told me that the way to get over rejection is to take many "rejection inoculations." Much like an inoculation, if you take regular, small doses of rejection over time, it does not make you sick when you experience it.
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  4. Aziz Gazipura _ The Solution To Social

    The ultimate point is to see that aside from what happens in our own minds, the actual harm or danger of rejection is often very minor.
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  5. Aziz Gazipura _ The Solution To Social

    The same holds true for social anxiety-which we can also call social phobia, or social fear. In this case, you're afraid that others will judge, ridicule, dislike, or reject you. As you work your way up your fear hierarchy, you will expose yourself to greater levels of judgment and rejection. It's important to realize that the purpose of completing these activities is not to succeed without any negative responses or rejections, but to actually experience rejection.
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  6. Aziz Gazipura _ The Solution To Social

    When we face rejection, it can be a poignant time to tap into our desire, motivation, drive, and passion to pursue what we most want. • Why do I want this? • Why does it matter to me? • Am I willing to do whatever it takes to get there?
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  7. Aziz Gazipura _ The Solution To Social

    The more you can simply feel the emotion without going into a story about why you were not good enough, the more quickly it will pass through you. This disappointment can serve to remind you
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  8. Aziz Gazipura _ The Solution To Social

    The main takeaway here is that rejection not only could mean something else, it most always does. The key is to first become aware of the fact that your idea of its meaning-that you are at fault, that you are a loser, that she simply doesn't like you-is not the truth. From there, you must seek alternative meanings that do not involve personalization and heavy self-criticism.
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  9. Aziz Gazipura _ The Solution To Social

    Personalizing is a term used to describe taking too much personal responsibility for a situation that involves multiple people and multiple elements. It occurs when we conclude that the rejection was totally our fault and it reflects our personal inadequacy. Somewhere in all of our minds we have learned this formula:
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  10. Aziz Gazipura _ The Solution To Social

    Something powerful happens inside of us when we make the shift from avoidance to approach when it comes to fear. Your fear hierarchy is precisely designed to help you make this shift. Instead of viewing each item as a threat that demands your focus, time, and energy to avoid, what if you saw each item as an opportunity to face your fears?"
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  11. Aziz Gazipura _ The Solution To Social

    Radical Acceptance {New York: Bantam Dell, 2004} Tara Brach
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  12. Aziz Gazipura _ The Solution To Social

    Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway {New York: Random House, 1987} Susan Jeffers
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