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Book: The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse
Quotes of Book: The Wounded Heart: Hope for
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  1. Dan B. Allender _ The Wounded Heart: Hope for

    Self-doubt is common when our efforts fail to bring results. Failure is a rock in our shoe that nags us until we find relief. At first, failure to achieve our desired end will elicit careful scrutiny {What can I do better?} and resumed commitment {How can I try harder?}. Success may be achieved-straight As, an athletic scholarship, perfect Sunday school attendance-but the real goal-a happy family, an end to the abuse, or relief from the pain-is always out of reach.
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  2. Dan B. Allender _ The Wounded Heart: Hope for

    in our perceived source of life. It is recognizing that our self-protective means to avoiding hurt have not ushered us into real living {the reckless abandon to God that ultimately leads to a deep sense of wholeness and joy} or to purposeful, powerful relating. Repentance is the process of deeply acknowledging the supreme call to love, which is violated at every moment, in every relationship-a law that applies even to those who have been heinously victimized. The law of love removes excuses. The pain of past abuse does not justify unloving self-protection in the present.
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  3. Dan B. Allender _ The Wounded Heart: Hope for

    To be told, "The past is the past and we are new creatures in Christ, so don't worry about what you can't change," at first relieves the need to face the unsightly reality of the destructive past. After a time, however, the unclaimed pain of the past presses for resolution, and the only solution is to continue to deny.3 The result is either a sense of deep personal contempt for one's inability to forgive and forget, or a deepened sense of betrayal toward those who desired to silence the pain of the abuse in a way that feels similar to the perpetrator's desire to mute the victim. Hiding the past always involves denial; denial of the past is always a denial of God.
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  4. Dan B. Allender _ The Wounded Heart: Hope for

    Repentance is an internal shift
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  5. Dan B. Allender _ The Wounded Heart: Hope for

    Because of the way God has made us, it is impossible finally and completely to deaden the soul. The soul will resurrect, in spite of the cruelty used to destroy it. It will pop up and then be slain again, return and be shoved down through contempt. The power to destroy the soul is not in the hands of Satan, another human being, or even oneself. Nevertheless, when we manage to deaden our soul, even temporarily, we open the door to terrible consequences.
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  6. Dan B. Allender _ The Wounded Heart: Hope for

    The triggering event and resulting shame is worse than being rejected because rejection assumes a path by which to return to acceptability. The fear involved in shame is of permanent abandonment, or exile. Those who see our reprehensible core will be so disgusted and sickened that we will be a leper and an outcast forever.
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  7. Dan B. Allender _ The Wounded Heart: Hope for

    The damage done through abuse is awful and heinous, but minor compared to the dynamics that distort the victim's relationship with God and rob her of the joy of loving and being loved by others.
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  8. Dan B. Allender _ The Wounded Heart: Hope for

    But the part of ourselves we hate the most is our longing to be wanted and enjoyed.
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