And, well, for most of my life I'd been way too far up my own ass to be of any use to anyone-something that only got worse after Kitchen Confidential. I don't know exactly when the possibility of that changing presented itself-but sometime, I guess, after having made every mistake, having already fucked up in every way a man can fuck up, having realized that I'd had enough cocaine, that no amount in the world was going to make me any happier. That a naked, oiled supermodel was not going to make everything better in my life-nor any sports car known to man. It was sometime after that. The precise moment of realization came in my tiny fourth-floor walk-up apartment on Ninth Avenue. Above Manganaro's Heroboy restaurant-next building over from Esposito Pork Shop. I was lying in bed with my then-girlfriend-I guess you could diplomatically call it "spooning"-and I caught myself thinking, "I could make a baby with this woman.
( Anthony Bourdain )
[ Medium Raw: A Bloody Valentine ]
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