Do you have any idea how much I love you?" "I do," she said, smiling. "Well, I'd give my life for you, that's how much. I've never been happier than these past few weeks. But I was just telling Matt-I'd give it all up and live alone and miserable and jealous till the end of time if I could get him back. He was the most amazing man, the most incredible friend. It would probably kill me, but I'd give this up if it meant he could live." Vanni put a hand along his cheek. "He knows that already, Paul. He always knew that." "You have to be real sad sometimes, honey. Even now. You don't ever have to hide that from me. I'll hold you through the tears now, just like I did before-and I won't feel cheated. Not by a long shot." "Paul, I wouldn't hide anything from you," she said sweetly. "Not long after Matt and I met, I lost my mom-and she was the best friend I ever had. And then I lost my husband to a war. Do you have any idea what a gift I have in you? It was like being rescued. I didn't know I could feel like this. I thought every day would hurt forever. It's probably not really stronger than what I felt for Matt, but coming after all that loss and pain, it sure feels like a miracle to me. Oh-I'll always miss him, too. I can't help that. But I'm so grateful to have you in my life. I'm not giving you up." "I just wish there was a way I could know-I wish I knew he was okay with this-you and me." "Remember, I told you," she said, smiling. "I ran it by him already. A few times. Before you ever let me know how you felt." "I wish I could know he forgives me for-for wanting you all those years you belonged to him…" She laughed softly, sweetly. "I think you're being silly now. You showed him such incredible respect, never letting anyone know. Paul, there's nothing to forgive." "The night Mattie came, I was out here talking to him. Jack came and got me-he said Matt had moved on. He said we each have our destiny and Matt's took him somewhere else." "Yeah-wherever he is, he's tearing the place up, making people laugh, feel good. Paul, this would make Matt happy. You know how much you love him? He loved you that much or more. I can't think of anyone he'd rather have raise his son." "I'll do the best I can with that, honey. I'd sure like to make Matt proud. I'll try to be as good a husband as Matt was…." She shook her head and smiled at him. "You're not going to have to try. As far as I can tell, you're a natural." *
( Robyn Carr )
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