Given the complexity of the chore, "escapees," as free-floating fecal material is known in astronautical circles, plagued the crews. Below is an excerpt from the Apollo 10 mission transcript, starring Mission Commander Thomas Stafford, Lunar Module Pilot Gene Cernan, and Command Module Pilot John Young, orbiting the moon 200,000-plus miles from the nearest bathroom. CERNAN:…You know once you get out of lunar orbit, you can do a lot of things. You can power down…And what's happening is- STAFFORD: Oh-who did it? YOUNG: Who did what? CERNAN: What? STAFFORD: Who did it? {laughter} CERNAN: Where did that come from? STAFFORD: Give me a napkin quick. There's a turd floating through the air. YOUNG: I didn't do it. It ain't one of mine. CERNAN: I don't think it's one of mine. STAFFORD: Mine was a little more sticky than that. Throw that away. YOUNG: God almighty. {And again eight minutes later, while discussing the timing of a waste-water dump.} YOUNG: Did they say we could do it anytime? CERNAN: They said on 135. They told us that-Here's another goddam turd. What's the matter with you guys? Here, give me a- YOUNG/STAFFORD: {laughter}… STAFFORD: It was just floating around? CERNAN: Yes. STAFFORD: {laughter} Mine was stickier than that. YOUNG: Mine was too. It hit that bag- CERNAN: {laughter} I don't know whose that is. I can neither claim it nor disclaim it. {laughter} YOUNG: What the hell is going on here?"
( Mary Roach )
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