Viewed: 75 - Published at: 6 years ago

How to Leave the Planet
1. Phone NASA. Their phone number is {713} 483-3111. Explain that it's very important that you get away as soon as possible.
2. If they do not cooperate, phone any friend you may have in the White House-{202} 456-1414-to have a word on your behalf with the guys at NASA.
3. If you don't have any friends in the White House, phone the Kremlin {ask the overseas operator for 0107-095-295-9051}. They don't have any friends there either {at least, none to speak of}, but they do seem to have a little influence, so you may as well try

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