I flip open my phone to text Jessica:Me: Guess who's pregnant?Jess: u?Me: Get...

I flip open my phone to text Jessica:
Me: Guess who's pregnant?
Jess: u?
Me: Get real.
Jess: ur mom?
Me: yep
Jess: Mazel tov!?
Me: Don't congratulate me, plz
Jess: Could b worse
Me: How?
Jess: Could be u?
Me: I'm a virgin.
Jess: Nobody's perfect.