In later years thisis the one memory hewishes would go away andnot come back....

In later years this
is the one memory he
wishes would go away and
not come back. And the
reason he cannot bear her
dying is not the loss of her
{which is the future} but
that dying puts the two of
them {now} into this
nakedness together that is
unforgiveable. They do not
forgive it. He turns away.
This roaring air in his
arms. She is released.