It may be subtle in its manifestations, and therefore difficult to identify. The following is a case history of Karen, a 45-year old woman whose parents were co-dependent and through growing up with them she became co-dependent. "When I heard the characteristics of adult children of alcoholics described, I saw a lot of myself in them. So I looked and looked for an alcoholic in my family background and couldn't find one. I found I had to look deeper as my parents both had a lot of characteristics of co-dependence. My father was also a workaholic. He was such a success. But he gave his time and energy to everyone except his family. He was the mayor of our town, and I felt guilty when I asked him for attention. He just wasn't there for me as a father and to help me when I was growing up. My mother was a compulsive overeater, although I didn't know that at the time. She wasn't the mother I needed either. They both trained me to be a self-sacrificer and a people-pleaser.
( Charles L. Whitfield )
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