It was very hard for him to admit it to himself, but having her around had brought him a strange comfort, and he had no idea why. Looking out for her made him feel better somehow. Making sure she was fed and protected against danger-that seemed to work for him, too. It was a lot of trouble, actually. If she hadn't been around, he wouldn't go to as much bother with meals. Three out of four nights he'd just open a can of something, but because she'd been sick and needed a hot meal he'd put his best foot forward. Plus, she needed to put on another few pounds. He had spent a lot of time wondering if searching for him, sleeping in her car and probably skipping meals had made her thin and weak. Knowing she was going to be there when he got home, pestering and bothering him, made him hurry a little bit through his work, his chores. He couldn't figure out why-he was damn sure not going to go over all that old business about the war, about Bobby. Just thinking about that stuff put a boulder in his gut and made his head ache. And yet, he had a ridiculous fear that this phone call to her sister would result in her saying, "I have to go home now." But there was no use worrying about it-she's going to leave soon no matter what the sister says. It's not as though she'd camp out in his cabin through the holidays-she had people at home. Never mind her grousing about her sister, at least she had a sister who loved her, cared about her. And what had she said when she asked for a ride to town? Just a little while longer… It was the first relationship he'd had in about four years. Old Raleigh didn't count-that had been pure servitude. If the man hadn't left him part of a mountain, Ian would never have suspected Raleigh was even slightly grateful for the caretaking in the last months. Ian saw people regularly-he worked for the moving company when the weather was good, had his firewood route, went places like the library, had a meal out now and then. People were nice to him, and he was cordial in return. But he never got close; there had been no relationships. No one poked at him like she did, making him smile in spite of himself. That business with the puma-her opening the outhouse door and yelling at him like that-he knew what that was about. She was afraid he'd get hurt by the cat and risked her own skin to warn him. Been a long damn time since he felt anyone really cared about him at all. Maybe that was it, he thought. Marcie thinks she cares, and it's because I was important to Bobby. If we'd just met somehow, it wouldn't be like this. But that didn't matter to him right now. He liked the feeling, alien though it was. He'd be back for her in two and a half hours and while he was delivering a half a cord to some dentist in Fortuna he'd watch the time so he wouldn't be late getting back to pick her up. And with every split log he stacked, he'd be hoping her family wouldn't find a way to get her home right away. *
( Robyn Carr )
[ A Virgin River Christmas ]
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