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It wasna a man,' said Andrew Kerr broadly. 'T'was my aunty. I tellt ye. I'm no risking cauld steel in ma wame for a pittance, unless all that's mine is well lookit after-' 'An old lady,' said Lord Grey with forbearance, 'in curling papers and a palatial absence of teeth?' 'My aunt Lizzie!' said Andrew Kerr. 'She has just,' said Lord Grey austerely, 'seriously injured one of my men.' 'How?' The old savage looked interested. 'From an upper window. The castle was burning, and he was climbing a ladder to offer the lady her freedom. She cracked his head with a chamberpot,' said Lord Grey distastefully, 'and retired crying that she would have no need of a jurden in Heaven, as the good Lord had no doubt thought of more convenient methods after the seventh day, when He had had a good rest.

( Dorothy Dunnett )
[ The Disorderly Knights ]
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