Not much to her credit to go through her life thinking, Well, good, now that's...

Not much to her credit to go through her life thinking, Well, good, now that's over, over. What was she looking forward to, what bonus was she hoping to get, when this, and this, and this, was over?
Freedom––or not even freedom. Emptiness, a lapse of attention. It seemed all the time that she was having to provide a little more––in the way of attention, enthusiasm, watchfulness––than she was sure she had. She was straining, hoping not to be found out. Found to be as cold at heart as that Old Norse, Sophie.