On Not Finding You at Home
Usually you appear at the front door
when you hear my steps on the gravel,
but today the door was closed,
not a wisp of pale smoke from the chimney.
I peered into a window
but there was nothing but a table with a comb,
some yellow flowers in a glass of water
and dark shadows in the corners of the room.
I stood for a while under the big tree
and listened to the wind and the birds,
your wind and your birds,
your dark green woods beyong the clearing.
This is not what it is like to be you,
I realized after a few of your magnificent clouds
flew over the rooftop.
It is just me thinking about being you.
And before I headed back down the hill,
I walked in a circle around your house,
making an invisible line
which you would have to cross before dark.
Usually you appear at the front door
when you hear my steps on the gravel,
but today the door was closed,
not a wisp of pale smoke from the chimney.
I peered into a window
but there was nothing but a table with a comb,
some yellow flowers in a glass of water
and dark shadows in the corners of the room.
I stood for a while under the big tree
and listened to the wind and the birds,
your wind and your birds,
your dark green woods beyong the clearing.
This is not what it is like to be you,
I realized after a few of your magnificent clouds
flew over the rooftop.
It is just me thinking about being you.
And before I headed back down the hill,
I walked in a circle around your house,
making an invisible line
which you would have to cross before dark.
( Billy Collins )
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