When we're outside, I hear Brittany take a deep breath. I swear it sounds as if she's holding herself together by a thin thread. Not the way it's supposed to go down: bring girl home, kiss girl, mom insults girl, girl leaves crying.
"Don't sweat it. She's just not used to me bringin' girls in the house."
Brittany's expressive blue eyes appear remote and cold. "That shouldn't have happened," she says, throwing back her shoulders in a stance as stiff as a statue's.
"What? The kiss or you likin' it so much?"
"I have a boyfriend," she says as she fidgets with the strap on her designer book bag.
"You tryin' to convince me, or yourself?" I ask her.
"Don't turn this around. I don't want to upset my friends. I don't want to upset my mom. And Colin…I'm just really confused right now."
I hold out my hands and raise my voice, something I usually avoid because like Paco says, it means I actually care. I don't care. Why should I? My mind says to shut the fuck up at the same time words spout from my mouth. "I don't get it. He treats you like you're his damn prize."
"You don't even know what it's like with me and Colin…"
"Tell me, dammit," I say, unable to hide the edge to my voice. Initially I hold myself back from what I really want to say, but I can't resist and tell it to her straight up. "'Cause that kiss back there…it meant somethin'. You know it as well as I do. I dare you to tell me bein' with Colin is better than that."
She looks away hastily. "You wouldn't understand."
"Try me."
"When people see Colin and me together, they comment on how perfect we are. You know, the Golden Couple. Get it?"
I stare at her in disbelief. That is beyond fucked up. "I get it. I just can't believe I'm hearin' it. Does bein' perfect mean that much to you?"
There's a long, brittle silence. I catch a flicker of sadness in those sapphire eyes, but then it's gone. In an instant her expression stills and grows serious.
"I haven't been doing a bang-up job at it lately, but yes. It does," she finally admits. "My sister isn't perfect, so I have to be."
That is the most pathetic shit I've ever heard. I shake my head in disgust and point to Julio. "Get on and I'll take you back to school to get your car."
Silently, Brittany straddles my motorcycle. She holds herself so far away from me I can barely feel her behind me. I almost take a detour to make the ride last longer.
She treats her sister with patience and adoration. God knows I wouldn't be able to spoon-feed one of my brothers and wipe his mouth. The girl I once accused of being self-absorbed is not one-dimensional.
, I admire her. Somehow, being with Brittany brings something to my life that's missing, something…right.
But how am I going to convince her of that?
"Don't sweat it. She's just not used to me bringin' girls in the house."
Brittany's expressive blue eyes appear remote and cold. "That shouldn't have happened," she says, throwing back her shoulders in a stance as stiff as a statue's.
"What? The kiss or you likin' it so much?"
"I have a boyfriend," she says as she fidgets with the strap on her designer book bag.
"You tryin' to convince me, or yourself?" I ask her.
"Don't turn this around. I don't want to upset my friends. I don't want to upset my mom. And Colin…I'm just really confused right now."
I hold out my hands and raise my voice, something I usually avoid because like Paco says, it means I actually care. I don't care. Why should I? My mind says to shut the fuck up at the same time words spout from my mouth. "I don't get it. He treats you like you're his damn prize."
"You don't even know what it's like with me and Colin…"
"Tell me, dammit," I say, unable to hide the edge to my voice. Initially I hold myself back from what I really want to say, but I can't resist and tell it to her straight up. "'Cause that kiss back there…it meant somethin'. You know it as well as I do. I dare you to tell me bein' with Colin is better than that."
She looks away hastily. "You wouldn't understand."
"Try me."
"When people see Colin and me together, they comment on how perfect we are. You know, the Golden Couple. Get it?"
I stare at her in disbelief. That is beyond fucked up. "I get it. I just can't believe I'm hearin' it. Does bein' perfect mean that much to you?"
There's a long, brittle silence. I catch a flicker of sadness in those sapphire eyes, but then it's gone. In an instant her expression stills and grows serious.
"I haven't been doing a bang-up job at it lately, but yes. It does," she finally admits. "My sister isn't perfect, so I have to be."
That is the most pathetic shit I've ever heard. I shake my head in disgust and point to Julio. "Get on and I'll take you back to school to get your car."
Silently, Brittany straddles my motorcycle. She holds herself so far away from me I can barely feel her behind me. I almost take a detour to make the ride last longer.
She treats her sister with patience and adoration. God knows I wouldn't be able to spoon-feed one of my brothers and wipe his mouth. The girl I once accused of being self-absorbed is not one-dimensional.
, I admire her. Somehow, being with Brittany brings something to my life that's missing, something…right.
But how am I going to convince her of that?
( Simone Elkeles )
[ Perfect Chemistry ]
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