Why won't you give up this silly idea of homesteading?" Gertrude went on. Her tone of voice was moderate, but her blue eyes were snapping. "I can't help thinking you're just being stubborn, Lily. Caleb is well able to provide for you, I assure you. He comes from one of the finest families in Pennsylvania-I've known the Hallidays a long time." Lily looked down at the floor for a moment, gathering her courage. "You wouldn't understand," she said softly. Gertrude sighed. "Do sit down," she told Lily kindly, taking a chair herself. "Now what is it that I would find so difficult to understand?" "I love Caleb very much," Lily began in a shaky voice, "but I'm not the woman for him." Mrs. Tibbet raised her eyebrows. "Oh? And why not?" Lily leaned forward in her chair and lowered her voice to a whisper. "I think I may be like my mother." "How so?" Mrs. Tibbet asked, smoothing her skirts. "She was-she drank. And there were men. Lots of men." "Oh, dear," said Mrs. Tibbet seriously. "And you drink?" Lily swallowed. "Well-no." "Then there are men." "Only Caleb," Lily said quietly. "But he can make me do and say the most shameful things. I'm so afraid it's because I'm-er-hot-blooded." Mrs. Tibbet looked as though she might be trying to suppress a smile. "You wouldn't be the first girl who'd given herself to a man before marriage, Lily. It isn't a wise course of action, but it happens often enough." Lily drew in a deep breath. "I suppose the drinking would come later," she said, discounting Mrs. Tibbet's remarks as mere kindness. "And then the men. No, I'm sure I'm better off going on with my life just as I've planned." There was a rap at the door, and then Velvet put her head inside. "Pardon, missus, but dinner's ready, and the men say they're going to eat without you if you don't hurry." "We'll be there in a moment," Mrs. Tibbet answered. "And tell the men that if they don't wait, they'll have me to deal with." "Yes, ma'am," Velvet replied with a hint of laughter in her voice. The door closed with a click. Mrs. Tibbet turned back to her guest. "If you were my own daughter, Lily, I would tell you the same thing. You couldn't do better than Caleb Halliday if you searched the world over for a man. Don't throw away a chance at real happiness-it might be the only one you get." Lily pushed herself out of her chair and went to stand at the window. From there she could see the moon rising above the roof of the house next door; it looked as though it had just squeezed out of the chimney. "Sometimes I think I know what I want. I'll decide that I want to marry Caleb and forget all about having a homestead. But then I remember what Mama was like." "Lily, you're not your mother." "No," Lily agreed sadly, turning to face Mrs. Tibbet, her hands clasped in front of her. "But Mama was young and happy once, and she must have thought she was in love with my father. She married him, she had his children. And then something changed, and she began to drink. Papa went away-I don't even remember him-and the men started coming around, one after the other …" Gertrude came to take Lily's hands in her own. "Things will be different for you," she said quietly. "You're strong, and so is Caleb. Oh, Lily, don't be afraid to take a chance." At that moment the colonel thundered from the hallway that he was going to have his supper right then whether the women cared to come to the table or not, and Lily smiled. "I promise I'll think things through very carefully, Mrs. Tibbet." "Don't take too long," Gertrude answered, ushering her toward the door of the study. "Fate can take the strangest twists and turns, sealing us off from someone when we least expect it." At
( Linda Lael Miller )
[ Lily and the Major ]
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