You feel like a leaf at the mercy of the wind, don't you?" he finally said, staring at me. That was exactly the way I felt. He seemed to empathize with me. He said that my mood reminded him of a song and began to sing in a low tone; his singing voice was very pleasing and the lyrics carried me away: "I'm so far away from the sky where I was born. Immense nostalgia invades my thoughts. Now that I am so alone and sad like a leaf in the wind, sometimes I want to weep, sometimes I want to laugh with longing." {Que lejos estoy del cielo donde he nacido. Immensa nostalgia invade mi pensamiento. Ahora que estoy tan solo y triste cual hoja al viento, quisiera llorar, quisiera reir de sentimiento.} We did not speak for a long while. He finally broke the silence. "Since the day you were born, one way or another, someone has been doing something to you," he said. "That's correct," I said. "And they have been doing something to you against your will." "True." "And by now you're helpless, like a leaf in the wind." "That's correct. That's the way it is." I said that the circumstances of my life had sometimes been devastating. He listened attentively but I could not figure out whether he was just being agreeable or genuinely concerned until I noticed that he was trying to hide a smile. "No matter how much you like to feel sorry for yourself, you have to change that," he said in a soft tone. "It doesn't jibe with the life of a warrior."
( Carlos Castaneda )
[ Journey To Ixtlan ]
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