A wave of blood goes up to my head, my stomach shrinks together, as if something dangerous has just missed hitting me. It's as if I've been caught stealing, or telling a lie; or as if I've heard other people talking about me, saying bad things about me, behind my back. There's the same flush of shame, of guilt and terror, and of cold disgust with myself. But I don't know where these feelings have come from, what I've done.
The character experiences a powerful rush of emotions that include shame, guilt, and fear, akin to the feeling of being discovered for wrongdoing. This overwhelming sensation is reminiscent of being caught in a lie or overhearing negative remarks about oneself, provoking a primal reaction that stirs anxiety and self-loathing. Yet, despite these intense feelings, the character is left perplexed about their origin and the specific wrongdoing that has triggered such a shameful response.
This internal struggle highlights the complexity of human emotions and the often unexplainable nature of guilt. The character is left in a state of confusion, grappling with feelings that suggest a deep-seated sense of insecurity or vulnerability. Atwood masterfully captures the intricacies of self-perception and the way individuals can become haunted by inexplicable fears and judgments, leaving them questioning their own motivations and actions.
