Alcohol, sadness, impulsive, regrettable behavior. Those were his reasons. The staples of discord. I understood. Sometimes he sends me e-mails that are so formal they seem to have been drafted by a phalanx of lawyers and sometimes he sends me e-mails that are sort of a continuation of our conversations over the years, a kind of intimate banter about nothing as though this whole divorce thing is just a game. All the recriminations and apologies and attempts at understanding and attacks… I was guilty of these things too. Dan wanted me to stay. I wanted Elf to stay. Everyone in the whole world was fighting with somebody to stay.
by Miriam Toews
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"Alcohol, sadness, impulsive, regrettable behavior. Those were his reasons. The staples of discord. I understood." This quote reflects the reasons behind the conflicts and misunderstandings between the narrator and Dan, highlighting the emotional struggles and issues like addiction and sadness that contributed to their difficulties. The author portrays these reasons as fundamental causes of their discord, emphasizing a deep understanding of his struggles.

Dan's communication varies from overly formal emails that seem legally drafted to casual, banter-filled exchanges that suggest their ongoing, complex relationship remains fluid despite their divorce. The narrator acknowledges their shared guilt and the universal desire to cling to what is lost, showcasing the emotional chaos, recriminations, and attempts at connection that characterize their interactions during this difficult time.

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