In Miriam Toews’ book All My Puny Sorrows, a character reflects on how people often talk about their pain and loneliness, but in indirect or organized ways. The character notices that attempts to start conversations about these feelings are often misunderstood or make others uncomfortable, as if exposing too much.

However, the character is touched by an impromptu choir that repeats a line about everyone having holes in their lives, expressing it with acceptance and even joy. This leads to the realization that there are better ways to acknowledge pain—ways that are genuine and gentle, not confrontational or distressing, which can foster understanding and shared humanity.