Annie turned away, her eyes glittering. 'Here's what no one tells you,' she said. 'When you deliver a fetus, you get a death certificate, but not a birth certificate. And afterward, your milk comes in, and there's nothing you can do to stop it.' She looked up at me. 'You can't win. Either you have the baby and wear your pain on the outside, or you don't have the baby, and you keep that ache in you forever. I know I didn't do the wrong thing. But I don't feel like I did the right thing, either.
Annie reveals a profound truth about the emotional turmoil faced by parents who experience miscarriage or stillbirth. She speaks of the painful dichotomy: if a baby is born, parents face visible grief, while if they do not, the pain becomes an internal struggle that can haunt them indefinitely. The feelings of loss are inescapable, and she highlights the societal lack of understanding regarding this uniquely painful situation.
Despite her certainty that she made the right choice, Annie grapples with her emotions, feeling neither completely justified nor entirely at peace. This reflection underscores the complexity of reproductive loss and the societal expectations tied to motherhood. Her words express a need for recognition and validation of a parent's grief, regardless of the circumstances surrounding the birth or loss of a child.
