The character reflects on their experiences, indicating that while they face difficult emotional memories and nightmares, they have learned to cope through distractions like video games and substance use. Despite the presence of fear and trauma in their life, they have developed a certain acceptance of their state, suggesting a level of resignation towards their inner struggles.
The phrase "I carry a lot of scares" poignantly captures the weight of their past and the impact it continues to have on them. It emphasizes a sense of survival amidst ongoing pain, suggesting that these experiences shape their identity, even as they navigate daily life with a detached demeanor.