As he thought of it, though, he could not imagine what "just living" might actually be. He had never done it in his life. But he wanted to do it anyway.
The character reflects on the concept of "just living," a notion he finds difficult to grasp since he's never truly experienced it. Despite this uncertainty, he feels a strong desire to embrace this idea of existence, free from the pressures and expectations that have shaped his life thus far.
This longing highlights a universal struggle: the quest for a meaningful life beyond obligations and responsibilities. It underscores the complexity of finding contentment and authenticity, representing a deep yearning for something more genuine, distinct from the outcomes of his previous experiences.