But nothing I could think up, no matter how dramatic or completely horrible, ever made her repent or love me the way she had at first, before she really knew me.
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The narrator reflects on the futility of trying to evoke a sense of remorse or rekindle love in someone who has changed. He grapples with the contrast between his memories of their initial connection and the reality of their current relationship. No matter how extreme his thoughts become, he realizes that nothing can restore the feelings they once shared.
This realization highlights the complexities of love and the inevitability of change in relationships. The narrator longs for the pure affection that existed before his partner truly understood him, indicating that deeper knowledge can sometimes diminish idealized love. His struggle underscores the theme of love's transience in Denis Johnson's narrative.
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