Cecilia felt a strong realization that she could not continue to spend her time idly in her disordered room, where she often lay on her bed surrounded by smoke. This state of inertia left her feeling uncomfortable and restless, with a sense of urgency pushing her to change her environment and situation. The act of reading Richardson's book seemed to serve as both a distraction and a reflection of her internal struggle.

The combination of physical discomfort and mental stagnation highlighted Cecilia's need for a more fulfilling life. She understood that remaining in this hazy existence was not viable, prompting her to consider the deeper implications of her choices and the life she desired to pursue beyond the confines of her current reality.