Civilians seldom understand that soldiers, once impressed into war, will forever take it for the ordinary state of the world, with all else illusion. The former soldier assumes that when time weakens the dream of civilian life and its supports pull away, he will revert to the one state that will always hold his heart. He dreams of war and remembers it in quiet times when he might otherwise devote himself to different things, and he is ruined for the peace. What he has seen is as powerful and mysterious as death itself, and yet he has not died, and he wonders why.
Civilians often fail to grasp that once soldiers experience the reality of war, it alters their perception of life permanently. For these individuals, the horrors and experiences of battle become their new normal, overshadowing the pre-war existence that many civilians cherish. As they reflect on their time in combat, it becomes difficult to reconnect with the tranquility and simplicity of civilian life, leaving them feeling out of place in a world that seems disconnected from their memories.
The former soldier believes that with time, they might return to the comforting embrace of civilian life, but this is an illusion. Instead, the memories of war linger and intrude on quiet moments, making it nearly impossible to escape the impact of their experiences. The profound nature of what they have witnessed is akin to the finality of death, yet they remain alive, grappling with the haunting question of why they are still here while their former selves seem lost to the chaos they've endured.
