Famously, Gloria Steinem once advised women that they should strive to become like the men they had always wanted to marry. What I've only recently realized is that I not only have to become my own husband, but I need to be my own father, too.
This quote profoundly illustrates the journey of self-reliance and emotional independence that many individuals, especially women, come to understand over time. It begins with the notion that women often look outward for validation, security, and guidance—perhaps idealizing qualities found in the men they desire or in societal roles traditionally associated with masculinity. However, the realization that one must embody these traits oneself marks a pivotal shift towards self-empowerment. Becoming one's own husband signifies nurturing qualities such as compassion, support, and stability internally instead of seeking them externally. Extending this idea, being one's own father underscores the importance of inner strength, discipline, protection, and unwavering support—attributes historically linked to paternal figures but equally vital for inner growth and resilience. Such reflections challenge the traditional gender roles, advocating for a unified internal authority that provides comfort and stability irrespective of external circumstances. Embracing this duality fosters authenticity, allowing individuals to forge a sense of wholeness without relying on others for validation. This process can be transformative, nurturing a profound sense of independence and personal responsibility. It encourages us to build trust within ourselves, develop emotional intelligence, and create a balanced life founded on self-understanding and self-sufficiency. Ultimately, this quote is a call for introspection—urging us to cultivate qualities traditionally attributed to others and to recognize that true fulfillment arises from within, shaping ourselves into the whole nurturer and protector we aspire to find or seek externally.
