Grief is different. Grief has no distance. Grief comes in waves, paroxysms, sudden apprehensions that weaken the knees and blind the eyes and obliterate the dailiness of life.

Grief is different. Grief has no distance. Grief comes in waves, paroxysms, sudden apprehensions that weaken the knees and blind the eyes and obliterate the dailiness of life.

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This quote from Joan Didion's The Year of Magical Thinking captures the nuanced and unpredictable nature of grief in a profoundly vivid way. Grief, as described here, defies any linear or spatial measurement — it is not something that one can simply step back from or place at a distance. Instead, it arrives in waves, unbidden and overwhelming, much like a sudden physical assault that weakens the knees or blinds the eyes. This metaphor of grief as an uncontrollable force conveys how deeply it disrupts not only emotions but also the very routines and fabric of daily living.

The phrase "obliterate the dailiness of life" is especially resonant — it reveals how grief can suspend a person's engagement with ordinary tasks, making the simplest activities feel heavy under its weight. Didion's choice of words like "paroxysms" (intense, sudden outbursts) emphasizes the intense physicality and rawness of the experience, highlighting grief's ability to overtake mental steadiness and emotional composure.

In reflecting on this passage, I am reminded of how often grief surprises us and how it does not conform to expectations of neat phases or timelines. Instead, it crashes through in moments large and small, reminding us of the fragility and preciousness of life. This portrayal validates those who experience sudden, intense grief differently than the commonly accepted narratives and offers a compassionate look at the disorienting reality of loss. Ultimately, it speaks to the depth of human vulnerability and the enduring, often chaotic imprint of grief on the human condition.

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June 09, 2025

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