He wanted to write urgent love letters to her all day long and crowd the endless pages with desperate, uninhibited confessions of his humble worship and need with careful instructions for administering artificial respiration. He wanted to pour out to her in torrents of self-pity all his unbearable loneliness and despair and warn her never to leave the boric acid or the aspirin in reach of the children or to cross a street against the traffic light. He did not wish to worry her.
by Joseph Heller
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The character expresses a deep and urgent desire to communicate his feelings through love letters filled with confessions and instructions, revealing his profound affection and worry for her well-being. He wishes to articulate his loneliness and despair while simultaneously trying to provide practical advice about safety, highlighting his caring nature. His desire to pour out his emotions reflects the intensity of his feelings and the complexity of his relationship.

Despite his overwhelming need to share his vulnerabilities, he is mindful of her feelings and aims to protect her from unnecessary worry. The letters symbolize both his love and his anxieties, showing how deeply intertwined his emotions are with his impulses to care for her, making it clear that he grapples with balancing his own emotional turmoil with his desire to support her.

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