The character is overwhelmed with her emotions, particularly as her heart races and exhaustion takes hold from constant contemplation of her situation. This state of unrest leads her to a moment of clarity where she recognizes a deep need for redemption and forgiveness for her past actions.
This desire to apologize signifies a longing to reassess her self-worth and seek atonement for her mistakes. The urgency she feels demonstrates her internal struggle and the importance she places on making amends to restore balance in her life.