I am sure you would not understand if I told you my father is delightfully clear and selfish, tender and lying, formal and incurable. He exhausts all the loves given to him. If I did not leave his house at night to warm myself in Rango's burning hands I would die at my task, arid and barren, sapless, while my father monologues about his past, and I yawn yawn yawn...
The quote expresses a complex relationship between the narrator and their father, who is described with contrasting qualities like clarity and selfishness, tenderness and deception. The father seems to exhaust the affections he receives, leaving the narrator feeling drained and unfulfilled. His long-winded stories about the past bore the narrator, creating a sense of emotional desolation.
The mention of needing to escape to Rango's warm embrace signifies a search for emotional refuge and vitality outside the stifling environment at home. This need reflects a deep desire for connection and warmth, contrasting starkly with the exhausting family dynamic, suggesting that the narrator's well-being relies on outside sources of love and support.