I believe myself to be good, he thought, and so I can afford to titillate myself by considering evil, like a child frightening himself with horror stories. I am not a bad man. But I am not a wise one, either, nor understanding. And yet, if I lose this rumpled and comfortable skin that I wear, how will I ever find anything to replace it? I wish I were younger and could grow skin easily.
The character reflects on his self-perception, asserting that he views himself as a fundamentally good person. He enjoys contemplating evil as a way to experience fear, akin to a child's fascination with horror tales. Despite his self-assuredness, he acknowledges a lack of wisdom and understanding, suggesting an awareness of his own limitations.
He expresses a poignant concern about losing his familiar comforts and identity, likening his current state to a well-worn skin. This metaphor highlights his vulnerability and longing for the ease of youth, where transformation could be effortless, indicating a deeper struggle with change and self-acceptance.
