I could see no point in being anything other than truthful with the world. I had, literally, nothing left to lose. But, by careful observation from the sidelines, I'd worked out that social success is often built on pretending just a little. Popular people sometimes have to laugh at things they don't find very funny, do things they don't particularly want to, with people whose company they don't particularly enjoy. Not me. I had decided, years ago, that if the choice was between that or flying solo, then I'd fly solo. It was safer that way. Grief is the price we pay for love, so they say. The price is far too high.
The speaker reflects on the value of honesty and living authentically, having reached a point where there is nothing left to protect. They observe that social acceptance often requires a degree of pretense, where individuals feign enjoyment and camaraderie for the sake of popularity. Instead of conforming to these social norms, the speaker prefers solitude, believing it to be a safer and more genuine choice.
The idea that grief accompanies love is acknowledged, yet the speaker feels the burden of such emotions can be overwhelming. They suggest that the cost of such love, in terms of emotional pain and suffering, may be too high to bear. As a result, they have chosen the path of truthfulness over superficial interactions, valuing their authenticity above social validation.
