I'd spent so much of my finite time on earth thinking small thoughts, feeling small feelings, walking under doors into unoccupied rooms. How many hours did I spend online, re-watching inane videos, scrutinising listings for houses I would never buy, clicking over to check for hasty e-mails from people I didn't care about? How much of myself, how many words, feelings, and actions, had I forcefully contained? I'd angled myself away from myself, by a fraction of a degree, but after so many years, finding my way back to myself required a plane.
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The passage reflects on the author’s realization of how he has wasted precious time on trivial thoughts and activities. He contemplates the hours spent engaged in mindless online distractions, such as watching pointless videos and checking irrelevant emails. This self-examination highlights a sense of regret over the time lost on things that do not enrich his life.
Through this introspection, the author expresses a yearning to reconnect with his true self. He acknowledges that even slight disconnection over the years has created a significant distance, requiring substantial effort to reclaim his identity and essence. This journey back to authenticity is portrayed as a meaningful endeavor, emphasizing the importance of living with intention rather than in distraction.
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