I felt excited to go to school, and that scared me. I knew it wasn't the simulating learning environment I was anticipating, or seeing my new set of friends. If I was being honest with myself, I knew I was eager to get to school because I would see Edward Culllen. And that was very, very stupid.
The narrator expresses a mix of excitement and fear about returning to school, recognizing that this feeling doesn’t stem solely from the usual anticipation of academic learning or reconnecting with friends. Instead, there is a deeper, personal motivation driving this enthusiasm.
This underlying reason is the desire to see Edward Cullen, which the narrator acknowledges as a somewhat foolish impulse. It reveals a significant emotional connection or attraction that overshadows typical school-related excitement, complicating their feelings about the experience.
