...I had grown accustomed to life being interesting and adventure ridden and, rather childishly, I refused to believe that this must necessarily come to an end and that the rest of my life should be a sort of penance for all the reckless, irresponsible, and immensely fun things I'd done before.
The author reflects on his adventurous life, filled with excitement and thrill, and struggles with the idea that such a vibrant existence might come to an end. He feels a reluctance to accept that his future should be mundane or like a penance for his past joys. This perspective highlights a common conflict between the desire for adventure and the realities of settling into a more conventional life.
Throughout the text, Troost captures the essence of youthful exuberance and the longing for a life filled with interest and adventure. He expresses a hopeful yet stubborn belief that life doesn't have to be reduced to a bland routine, pushing back against societal expectations that often dictate a more restrained approach to living. This sentiment resonates with those who yearn for continued excitement and fulfillment, regardless of age or circumstance.