The narrator expresses a deep struggle with sharing personal issues, feeling both embarrassment and a lack of courage stemming from past experiences. Initially, this person finds it impossible to confide in anyone, reflecting a long-standing fear of judgment and vulnerability. As a result, they have kept their feelings bottled up for years, which has been a source of internal conflict.
However, a sudden shift occurs where this individual feels an intense need to open up and share their burdens with someone. This longing for connection signifies a breakthrough in their emotional state, revealing a desire for support and understanding that had been suppressed for too long.