I have wondered," he said, so low I could scarcely hear him. "Wondered often, if I could call that edge to my service, and sheathe it safe again. For I have seen a great many men grow hard in that calling, and their steel decay to dull iron. And I have wondered often, was I master in my soul, or did I become the slave of my own blade?
The speaker reflects on the internal struggle between the desire to wield power and the fear of becoming consumed by it. They express a profound sense of uncertainty about their mastery over their own darker instincts, particularly in the context of using a weapon. This introspection reveals a deep awareness of the consequences that come with violence and the potential to lose one's moral compass.
Furthermore, the speaker highlights the transformation that many undergo in their line of work, where the allure of power can lead to a newfound hardness and corruption. The contrast between being a master of one's fate and becoming a slave to one's own aggressive tendencies raises significant questions about identity and control in the face of temptation.
