I'm me, she whispered. MeNel didn't know quite what she meant, but on the other hand she knew exactly what she meant.I'm me. I'm not their daughter. I'm not Nel. I'm me. Me.Every time she said the word me there was a gathering in her like power, like joy, like fear. Back in bed with her discovery, she stared out the window at the dark leaves of the horse chestnut.Me, she murmured. And then, sinking deeper into the quilts, I want... I want to be... wonderful. Oh, Jesus, make me wonderful.
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In this passage, the character expresses a strong sense of self-identity, emphasizing her individuality and separation from familial expectations. By repeatedly stating "I'm me," she asserts her existence beyond the roles others assign her. This moment conveys a mixture of empowerment, joy, and fear as she grapples with her identity, revealing a deep internal conflict while simultaneously celebrating her uniqueness.
As she reflects on her desire to be "wonderful," her yearning highlights the desire for personal growth and fulfillment. Surrounded by darkness, she is introspective, contemplating what it means to truly embrace herself. This powerful moment encapsulates a journey towards self-acceptance and the challenges that accompany such a transformation, signifying a crucial step in her self-discovery.
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