I saw what I had been fighting for: It was for me, a scared child, who had run away a long time ago to what I had imagined was a safer place. And hiding in this place, behind my invisible barriers, I knew what lay on the other side: Her side attacks. Her secret weapons. Her uncanny ability to find my weakest spots. But in the brief instant that I had peered over the barriers I could finally see what was finally there: an old woman, a wok for her armor, a knitting needle for her sword, getting a little crabby as she waited patiently for her daughter to invite her in.
In this passage, the narrator reflects on a childhood marked by fear and retreat. They realize that their struggles were not just for themselves, but also stemmed from their experiences as a vulnerable child who fled to what they believed was safety. Behind self-imposed barriers, they were aware of the challenges presented by their past, particularly the influence of their mother, who used unique methods to expose their vulnerabilities.
As they confront this reality, the narrator visualizes an elderly woman, representing their mother, wearing a wok as armor and wielding a knitting needle like a sword. This imagery highlights the mother's resilience and patience as she waits for a connection with her daughter. This moment of recognition signifies a shift in understanding, where the narrator begins to appreciate the complexity of their relationship, merging fear with empathy as they consider the power dynamics at play.