I think that something similar happens with our psychic muscles. They cramp around our wounds - the pain from our childhood, the losses and disappointments of adulthood, the humiliations suffered in both - to keep us from getting hurt in the same place again, to keep foreign substances out. So those wounds never have a chance to heal. Perfectionism is one way our muscles cramp. In some cases we don't even know that the wounds and the cramping are there, but both limit us. They keep us moving and writing in tight, worried ways. They keep us standing back or backing away from life, keep us from experiencing life in a naked and immediate way.
In her book "Bird by Bird," Anne Lamott reflects on how emotional wounds from our past can affect our present lives. She compares these wounds to physical cramps in our psychic muscles, which tighten around painful experiences such as childhood trauma and adult disappointments. This cramping serves as a defensive mechanism to safeguard us from further pain but has a downside—it prevents true healing and restricts our emotional freedom.
Lamott emphasizes that perfectionism is often a manifestation of these psychological cramps. Many individuals are unaware of the wounds they carry or the ways in which they've constricted their emotional responses. As a result, they may write and interact with the world in a constrained manner, missing out on the richness of life. By acknowledging these limitations, we can begin to move forward and engage with our experiences more authentically.
